Crispina DeSanto was fifteen, overdeveloped, and loved the pilots from the nearby Aviano US Airforce base. When the unplanned but fully predictable consequences "started to show", Crispina's father beat her up and threw her out: "Non sei mia figlia, sei una putana!" She hitchhiked to Treviso and found shelter at the nuns of "Nostra Signora Degli Armeni". A few months later she gave birth to a beautiful healthy boy. Crispina left four days later never to be seen again. The boy was baptized in the faith of the Armenian Apostolic Church as Khajag Gukasian. From early on Khajag (who preferred to be called Charlie) proved to be extremely bright: at the age of nine, he was fluent, besides Italian and Armenian, in German, English, and French, and at fourteen he graduated high school. On the principal's recommendation he was accepted at the local university where two years later he won a full scholarship at NYU. Charlie continued to be his brilliant self in New York scoring in the high nineties. To make a few bucks he delivered pizza for Bitondo's. The detailed records of his deliveries over those four and a half years became the basis for his Ph.D. thesis "On Human Relationship of Late Night Food Delivery in New York City". He was beaten up six times (twice requiring stitches), robbed three times, and had twice sex with clients. His work, once published, became an instant success (it helped that it opened with a detailed description of the fateful night when he delivered two large Medonos with extra Frim-Fram Sauce, and minutes later found himself naked on the kitchen floor straddled by a middle-aged woman with large breasts and tremendous upper body strength who rode him all-the-way). Less than a year later he married Pierrette DeWilson, a fellow graduate, and they moved to Paris where they opened a consulting anthropology studio on Rue Buffon.
