Volker Zauner

This is Volker Zauner (he goes by Van Miller) as I saw him the other day having a drink with current girlfriend Tanya. Van was born in Bad Ischl, Austria into the famous local Zauner family owners and operators of the renowned Konditorei-Kaffee Zauner (since 1832). Van's father, Waldemar, met, fell in love and married Margarete von Schulz against the will of the family. They emigrated to the US when Van was just a toddler and settled in Rochester. Van did badly in school, got into all kinds of trouble and eventually went to Toronto where he found a copywriter job at Q&W Communications. Van had many girlfriends but the relationships never lasted: the women he dated discovered quickly that he is an uninteresting fake with no real opinions: a flake and a waste of time to be with. The initial short-lived attraction was his ability to listen quietly brooding with an air of awkward discomfort that was taken as approving and sympathetic. These young ladies, little did they know that Van creates this artificial impression by wearing women's underwear two sizes too small that make him squirm and cramp in controlled, near agony distress.

Bhubaneshwar Shopping Weekly

These are Gita (5½, right) and Nargita (3½, left) during their weekly trip to the "Reliance Smart" supermarket in  Kharavela Nagar with their father Naresh (not in the picture) and do they ever seem to have a great time. The explanation for their less than usual features for typical Odisha natives is that they are foundlings and here is the story as I heard it from Naresh himself. 

One sunny Sunday, almost three years ago, Naresh was fishing for carp on the banks of the river Kuakhai when he saw a basket float by and getting stuck in some reefs just downstream. He went to look closer, heard whining and discovered that the basket help an infant and another very young child both wrapped in a white and red blanket. He packed up his fishing gear and quickly drove home with the children. Naresh called Dr. Gopal, a pediatrician family friend who, after thorough examination, declared the two girls in good shape, just a little dehydrated. The doctor advised to call the authorities. The formidable Gayathri, mother to Naresh and matriarch in charge of everything, vehemently opposed this course of action as she jumped on the unexpected chance for grand kids she'd otherwise never had (Naresh is gay). 

It took a few meetings and lots of phone calls and some fat envelopes changing hands, but within a month official paper work arrived and the household descended in blissful chaos. True: the girls never warmed up to curry and other kids sometimes made fun of their ugly yellow hair but it was harmless fun and the girls loved lamb chops and fish. 

Naresh still goes Sundays to fish for carp at his favorite spot where he smokes his horrible Bidis and sometimes looks over at the little red and white shrine he built for Parvati, goddess of masculine energy.