Yuri Herzberger

This is Yuri Herzberger (he prefers Uri) from Victoria B.C. in Canada, he was born on April 12th, 1961, and his parents, in a bout of naive and misguided leftist enthusiasm, called him Yuri (Yuri Gagarin of the Soviet Union flew in space that day). Uri's life (most of it, anyway) was a long string of humiliations; the first he clearly remembers was in the backyard of his first love: Florence Smith (they were both about five). Uri brought a drawing of a table he made for her in blue crayon but her older brother took it and rubbed it on his bottom laughing. That is how it all went, at school, University and later at work ... when he was invited to parties he felt humiliated, thinking it was for pity when he wasn't invited he felt humiliated for being left out. He had a string of meaningless affairs where he thought the girls went with him for mercy and he felt humiliated, but when girls rejected him he also felt humiliated. His Uriah Heep humiliations were more the pop-group type then the Dickensian sycophant version ... but still, hurt like crazy. Then, one day, about six and a half years ago, his then-girlfriend Aby-Gail took him on a free-friend-class-pass to her Yoga studio down Douglas street. What he experienced next, he could not describe, he tried to keep up with the class and thought he didn't but, when about an hour and a half later, he lay still in, what he was told is, the final Savasana, he realized that for the first time for as long as he could remember he was fine: no feelings of guilt or shame. There was no pressure, no expectation, no judgment ... just warm smiles and encouragement. Uri lives with his now-fiancee Aby-Gail and they go to daily Yoga sessions. Full of eternal gratitude, he bought her a tat of her choice and, when we met in Rome a few weeks ago, they were both seriously considering teacher training. Uri still listens to his Uriah Heep records, his favorite is "Easy Living" from "Demons and Wizards".

Kimmie Zhou 周

This is Zhou (周) Keung, a beer drinker from the Tianjin Province, Ninghe District, he lives with his mom in a small place just outside Lutai. One night, about two and a half years ago, while drinking beer on his porch, he heard sounds of breaking, screeching, impacting, and crashing. He jumped up and ran to the highway where he saw a huge white BMW rolled on its side with wheels still spinning. The driver was fine he had only some scratches, the passenger, a young woman hanging in the seat belt, was clearly dead. The young man asked him for his name and then ordered Keung to help him move the girl into the driver seat and the roll the car down into the gorge below. The BMW bumped faster and faster through the bushes and landed, almost invisible, two hundred feet below. Then the young man told Keung to take him to the train station which he did on his old scooter. Once there, the guy took out all the cash from his wallet and gave it to Keung with a business card, he said somebody will come by (it was almost 5,000 Yuan, about six hundred bucks). After a few days a lawyer came by, asked for a bank account number and Keung signed a consulting contract with the Province. The next day there were 150,000 Yuan more in the bank, so he bought a new stove for his mom and paid a guy to repair the roof. In a newspaper, Keung read about a female car thief who crashed a car and died (the car belonged, apparently, to the son of a high party boss). Keung changed his name to cooler Kimmie, quit his job and sat at home drinking beer all day. After a while, he started to travel and to drink beer all over the world. I met him in Florence on the steps of Santa Croce (we had beers).

Louis Charles

This is Louis Charles from Dijon, France, he comes from a long line of Moutardier, with his lineage made noble when a Hungarian count, Zsigmond Nagy von Zichy arrived in the city and charmed Marie Louise, only daughter of the prosperous Charles family, with his fine figure and elegant, Viennese manners. Little did she and les Charles know, that Zsigmond fled his creditors who held papers on an enormous gambling debt. The wedding was a most splendid affair and the couple settled down in the manor house on the estate that grew the mustard that grew the Charles wealth. A boy, named Joel Kálmán, was the fruit of their love, alas born after the Count's disappearance (one evening he went for cigarettes and was never seen or heard off again). There was a huge break in Marie Louise's heart 💔and a majestic hole in their bank account. Joel Kálmán is the grandfather of Louis and it was in his time that the lands had to be sold. The family held great know-how on the mustard industry and prospered again by becoming main agents in selling and buying it. Louis is famous for winning the prestigious "Grand Prix de Meilleure Dijon" nine times running: he makes really good mustard (his secret ingredient is nutmeg), but the first year he bribed the judges with thousand Euro each, subsequent years, he just played them the recording of that transaction on his phone. So the spirit of Count Zsigmond is still alive and well in Dijon, capital of Burgundy, France, where le Dijon (AOC) is now made with 80% mustard seed from Ontario in Canada.

Peter, Paula and Mitch

These are Paula and Peter from London, England as I met them the other day in the Galleria Vittorio Emmanuelle in Milan. Mitch is not in the picture because he is dead. The three met on their first day of University and became best friends quickly. Their friendship was so solid and profound that it withstood the traumatic event of Paula hooking up with Mitch leaving Peter in constant, deep and torturing pain. They rented a flat together and worked hard to graduate and find good jobs in the City after which, still together, shared a luxury highrise apartment. One late night, about a year and a half ago, during a silly argument, Paula pushed Mitch from the balcony, he fell down 24 floors and met the pavement (and his death). Peter, who, it so happens, got himself a new phone just the day before, filmed the entire incident. When the police and ambulance arrived, Paula and Peter stated that Mitch was a well-known somnambulist and it was all an accident. It was gone seven by the time police left and when Paula checked Peter's phone, she realized that the clip was saved in several hidden locations. Peter went to his room to find Paula naked in his bed. It is not known how happy the relationship is, what is known is that Peter invested all of his emotional capital to make it work, Paula's contribution is, occasionally, her vagina.

Isobel Kunst

This is Isobel Kunst as I met her on the train to Domodossola in Verbano, Piedmont. Sweet kid if there ever was one ... years ago her parents went through a bitter divorce and her mom, Sylvia Kunst, was granted sole custody. Her American father, Jim Sloe, kidnapped her and fled to Panama where they lived for seven years, her dad assuming, and Isobel letting him believe, that she forgot all about Sylvia and Itlay. When they took a trip to San Diego, Isobel, then 14, ran into a police station. She was returned to her mom, went to high school in Italy and captained her field hockey team to the Piedmont-Lombardia championship.  A few years ago she started her Yoga studio - great success - first Hatha, then Vinyasa and Bikram. Since then property crime rate went down 82%, violent crime is non-existent, the birth-rate is 18% higher than the national average, people walk or bike anywhere, they smile a lot and nobody has had dandruff in years. Isobel has a pet turtle called Joe Clyde.

Rosalba von Touche

This is Rosalba von Touche as I met her at "Enrico Rizzi" on via Correnti in Milan - she is the most delightful girl who you'd want to handle your gelato, her smile melts hearts and her hands are most beautifully shaped. Rosalba plays classical guitar, writes poetry and is a cracking tennis player (none of which translates, currently, to income) which made her mother advise her to marry somebody rich. Rosalba always listens to her mother's guiding pearls of wisdom and always ignores them. Her favorite composer is Manuel de Falla, her favorite dish is a vegetable curry, her favorite author is Jasper Fforde (she first read "Il Caso Jane Eyre" when it was translated in 2006 into Italian and then, quickly, everything else she found ... she was particularly happy that there was an Italian Translation Inspectorate that makes field trips). Rosalba does not know yet, but in a few months (Mid-November, to be precise) a life-changing event will occur, that will forever change her life forever.

Ariadne MacIvor-Fabrizzi

This is Ariadne MacIvor-Fabrizzi as I met her in front of the Palazzo dell'Arte Della Lana, in Florence, a while ago. She's just been with her advisor (seen there sitting, smoking), at the "Società Dantesca", to discuss her Korean translation of some Petrarca Sonnets. Ariadne's mother, Anne MacIvor, came to Florence, met, fell in love, moved in with and got pregnant by Fabio Fabrizzi in the early nineties. When they learned they'll have a baby, they decided to get married and had one of their (0nly) two catastrophic fights: Anne wanted her family name preserved, hyphenated to Fabio's, Fabio (macho Italian) didn't want to hear of it. Anne went and registered Ariadne hyphenated anyway (they had their second huge fight, of which,  subsequently, Anne got on a plane back to  Glasgow never to return). Fabio raised Ariadne who turned out very well, with an uncanny talent for languages: she learned to be fluent in Spanish, Korean and in Swahili in just two years during University. We had coffee and she talked about her plans and dreams. Short-term plans had to do mostly with food, short-term dreams had to do mostly with naked men with large penises. We never got to the long-term plans and dreams.