This is Helena, she's clever with a devastatingly quick wit. A while ago we stood outside a downtown bar sharing a joint and started talking about languages. Turned out we were even: three "fluent", two "very good", other two "getting by" and then two more "some". According to the International Polyglot Assoc. (Unit 2B, 512 S Sage Ave, Mobile, AL 36606, US), we are "Speaks Several Languages", far from the lofty "Cert. Polyglot". I told Helena of my first day of learning German (I was eleven and it ended in a fistfight) and she told me her first day of learning French (she was six). Mademoiselle Ferrand asked if someone can say something in French and Helena went like "me, me, me, me, me, me, me!" and getting the nod she said "Laisse mes mains sur tes hanches". 
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*Mademoiselle Ferrand immediately demanded to know who said that and when Helena said that it was Adamo, Mademoiselle Ferrand told her that he is a pervert and she should stay away from him. Funny things happen when you learn languages from your parent's record collection. Helena works now for The United Fruitgumm Co. where she writes copy and does translations in Portuguese, Turkish and Spanish, sometimes her colleagues hear her in her cubicle singing softly "Tombe la Neige" or "Viens, viens ma Brune". Helena finds herself strangely attracted to sardines, she has currently no pets as she cannot decide if cat or dog, but whatever she's gonna get will be called Iphigenia.
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* graphite and watercolor on paper, private collection, Toronto
All the people in my group of friends are fluid in three languages and many of them are fluid in four, this should emphasize not only that Helen’s talent for languages is above our “ normal” but also that “normal” is subjectively defined. Helen’s portrait lassoing a sardine is great, how very lucky are the people who have it in their private collection.
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