Fifty-Four (and counting)

A few days after his fifty-fourth wedding anniversary, he sat in the backyard with a book open in his lap and thought of all the things he'd learned 

1. There are things we know and things we don' t know; between them, there's the Doors.
2. Never wear green on Wednesday
3. Best day to go on a trip: Tuesday
4. Best day to return from a trip: Thursday 
5. All his dogs are called Lola
6. All his cats are called other names
7. You regret more the things you didn't (do) than the things you did (do)
8. Never put your bag on the floor
9. Never put your hat on the bed
10. Always use Arial
11. Never use Arial
12. Say as little as possible, mostly "Yes"
13. It is not only Flight or Fight, there is also Freeze
14. Be quiet and smile (a lot)
15. If you cannot decide whether to do or not to do, the default is to do
16. If you lose something, it is OK. You will never have to lose it again
17. Always add more garlic
18. If you don't like it, don't eat it, but if you must eat it, eat it
19. Thirst is more dangerous than hunger
20. Chocolate, Champagne, and Roses work fine (cash is a good alternative)
21. Buy two of everything
22. You did a whole lot better than they thought you would
23. Old hearts break just like young hearts, but hurt less
24. The past is truth, the future is lies
25. What goes up must come down, spinning wheel go aroun'
26. Look to the right and to the left, but also, o-c-c-c-casionally, look up
27. Only remember ideas and sensations
28. You can leave your hat on
29. Yes, you can steal time
30. There are clowns to the left of me, jokers to the right, and here I am, stuck in the middle with you
31. No! You cannot put everything back where you found it
32. When you say "never," you probably mean "always".
33. When you say "always," you probably mean "never."
34. You don't miss anything, as there is always something
35. There is always something, as there was never nothing
36. They invented time so that everything wouldn't happen at once 
37. Tried to trade in all tomorrows for a single yesterday ... it didn't go well
38. It starts with love, and it ends in hate, and in between it is mostly fear
39. Destiny is decided by fate
40. Bring in the dog and put out the cat 
41. There ain't no particular sign I'm more compatible with
42. Boredom chews up your soul
43. If they ask "how many?"  just say "approximately six." and you'll be usually correct
44. Don't be the canary in the minefield
45. Don't be like the bull in the Chinese shop
46. Don't be the escape goat
47. When you know they know, deny, deny, deny, and run away 
48. No set density is safe
49. No set density is dangerous
50. Zed's dead, baby, Zed's dead!
51. Turns out that the love you take is equal to the love you make
52. Fibonacci was right, but he was also an idiot 
53. There's nothing I'm wishing to be owning
54. Always hold hands when you cross the road
55. It was always me and Julio down by the schoolyard
56. Don't ask "Are you breaking up with me?" They'll tell you when they are
57. He could've gone far
58. The romantic perception is the reflection of an erection
59. Always pick the tallest, blondest
60. The past is gone, the future is uncertain. Live here and now as you are where you should be!
61. Fixing past screw-ups in the future often screws it up more ... so just do your thing in the present
62. It often takes longer, is mostly more expensive, and frequently not worth it ... we still do it
63. If you think that the world in your head is the real world, you're in trouble
64. And so, castles made of sand fall in the sea, eventualleee 

Later, he also learned to rap:

She liked nectarines

And the mandareens

And theatre scenes

And necklace beans

And Wednesday greens

And Voodoo queens

Of New Orleans

Where they play slot machines

In submarines

With ugly teens

In dirty jeans

They never cleans

Oh, worldly spleens!