Thursday 10 June 2021

Fran, the Maker of Splendid Soup

This is Frances DuLac and her dog Phi, as I met them a few Sundays ago for coffee at a small place on Pape Ave (See a French and a Vietnamese version of the picture). She runs an extremely successful catering business built on the Vietnamese Pho soup. It was, as she told me, an accident until it wasn’t. She made Pho from a recipe on a calendar and her friends went nuts. When the pandemic hit, with not much else to do, she perfected the recipe and started selling first to friends or phone orders and then on her website. She can hardly keep up with demand, had to hire three cooks and a delivery service. This natural talent for Pho, where did come from she asked herself and then dug into family history (a box with letters, photos and documents her mother had). Turns out, her great grandmother Linh Pham, born in Qui Nhon, Vietnam in 1934, was a famous beauty. Jacques Dorléac, a French colonel fell deeply and totally in love and, in 1954 when the French left Vietnam, took her to Paris. They got married (his family did not attend: Jacques et sa meuf d'Indochine, alors!). On April 12th 1961 a daughter was born: Françoise Paulette Louise. When the colonel died in 1972, the family helped them go to Canada on condition to change their name (they picked DuLac) and never contact them. Linh and Françoise bought a small house in Toronto, on Broadview Avenue and lived there quietly until January 1990 when Linh died of pneumonia and Paul Chayse, boyfriend to Françoise, moved in. On November 16th, on the holly feast of St. Matthew the Evangelist and Apostle, their daughter was born. They briefly considered naming her Matilda (closest to Matthew) but they chose to honor the Vietnamese grandmother where it all flows from: the beauty and the art of Pho.


 

Saturday 5 June 2021

Dana Hunt-Jollie

This is Dana Hunt, she has a hyphenated last name, which she never uses as she thinks is weird and not cool at all. We met in July 2019 at the Art-Fair. Dana is depressed and unhappy thinking that most of the things in her life are weird. She has loving parents and gets along well with her younger sister Nadine. Dana does reasonably well in school, is a talented tennis player and likes to hang out with her friends. She does not need to sell ice cream on weekends in a silly uniform for ten bucks an hour but she applied for the job on a dare and got it. Now she is bored and annoyed by all these people who come and stand in line to buy it. Her supervisor, Helen, stopped by and, when she saw her face, asked if there is something wrong, then told her to smile and be friendly to clients. Dana said: "Sure, cool, no problem!" For a while she thought to write a short story about her ice cream sales experience then she thought that nobody will read it and it's not worth the effort. Then she imagined that she'll be an actress with a part as a sales girl and this is her method acting preparation for the role. So, when the next client asked for a Dark Chocolate and Vanilla Almond Bar, she responded aggressively: "Are you talking to ME? Are YOU talking to me?" The guy started to laugh and said "Yeah, I'm talking to you, who do you think?" Dana gave him the ice cream for free. The guy thanked her, said his name is Todd and asked her when she got off and if she wanted to go for a drink. Dana thought to herself that this is another weird thing happening in her life and replied "Seven thirty, sure, but I have to change".   



Thursday 20 May 2021

Volker Zauner

This is Volker Zauner (he goes by Van Miller) as I saw him the other day having a drink with current girlfriend Tanya. Van was born in Bad Ischl, Austria into the famous local Zauner family owners and operators of the renowned Konditorei-Kaffee Zauner (since 1832). Van's father, Waldemar, met, fell in love and married Margarete von Schulz against the will of the family. They emigrated to the US when Van was just a toddler and settled in Rochester. Van did badly in school, got into all kinds of trouble and eventually went to Toronto where he found a copywriter job at Q&W Communications. Van had many girlfriends but the relationships never lasted: the women he dated discovered quickly that he is an uninteresting fake with no real opinions: a flake and a waste of time to be with. The initial short-lived attraction was his ability to listen quietly brooding with an air of awkward discomfort that was taken as approving and sympathetic. These young ladies, little did they know that Van creates this artificial impression by wearing women's underwear two sizes too small that make him squirm and cramp in controlled, near agony distress.


Saturday 8 May 2021

Bhubaneshwar Shopping Weekly

These are Gita (5½, right) and Nargita (3½, left) during their weekly trip to the "Reliance Smart" supermarket in  Kharavela Nagar with their father Naresh (not in the picture) and do they ever seem to have a great time. The explanation for their less than usual features for typical Odisha natives is that they are foundlings and here is the story as I heard it from Naresh himself. 

One sunny Sunday, almost three years ago, Naresh was fishing for carp on the banks of the river Kuakhai when he saw a basket float by and getting stuck in some reefs just downstream. He went to look closer, heard whining and discovered that the basket help an infant and another very young child both wrapped in a white and red blanket. He packed up his fishing gear and quickly drove home with the children. Naresh called Dr. Gopal, a pediatrician family friend who, after thorough examination, declared the two girls in good shape, just a little dehydrated. The doctor advised to call the authorities. The formidable Gayathri, mother to Naresh and matriarch in charge of everything, vehemently opposed this course of action as she jumped on the unexpected chance for grand kids she'd otherwise never had (Naresh is gay). 


It took a few meetings and lots of phone calls and some fat envelopes changing hands, but within a month official paper work arrived and the household descended in blissful chaos. True: the girls never warmed up to curry and other kids sometimes made fun of their ugly yellow hair but it was harmless fun and the girls loved lamb chops and fish. 

Naresh still goes Sundays to fish for carp at his favorite spot where he smokes his horrible Bidis and sometimes looks over at the little red and white shrine he built for Parvati, goddess of masculine energy. 

Tuesday 16 March 2021

My 16th Day of March



I woke up this morning and I realized two things: (1) that I am just seven hundred and eighty seven days away from having lived in Canada longer than I lived in my native Romania (the score is 13,798 to 13,011) and (2) it is the feast of  St. Sabin of Egypt who lived during the reign of emperor Diocletian. So I brushed my teeth and went to my ”Yoga in the Park” at 7:15. The sky was covered with what seemed to be a thick, gray solid layer of cloud. The class was invigorating at -1° C (according to the weather channel it felt like -9° C). I got home at 8:30 and had a shower and breakfast (cup of coffee and a glass of one third orange juice and two thirds mineral water) and then went to do my shift at the community fridge at Ossington and Dupont. The sky was covered with what seemed to be a thick, white solid layer of cloud. 
On my way home, at Hallam and Delaware, I saw a young girl wearing a white wedding dress and black cowboy boots, on a bike, with a ladder on her right shoulder pedaling relatively fast and very determined going North. I decided to investigate further and make it the subject of a future post in my, this here, blog. 

Monday 12 October 2020

Berta Kulák

This is Berta Kulák a tenth grader from my neighborhood, we sometimes have coffee at the Progress Bakery and talk. Berta is an excellent student and a talented cellist. Her idol is Jacqueline du Pré and she currently studies Haydn's Concerto No. 2 in D Major. This Sunday morning she is on her way to her classmate and boyfriend Joe who lives at Rains and Lambertlodge Ave, they have sex while Joe's parents are at church. Berta also has sex with Joe's younger brother Max Wednesdays in the afternoon in his car and, on Friday nights, with Pete, a neighbor with three young kids whom Berta babysits. They do it in his woodshed before he goes to his weekly "hockey with buddies". Pete promised Berta a new iPhone if she lets him take close-ups of her vagina. Berta is still thinking about this one ... 

Saturday 10 October 2020

Jon(athan)

This is 7 Melinda Crescent, the home of Jonathan (Jon). I cannot show you his picture or mention his current last-name, as Jon is buried deep in the witness protection program of a friendly neighboring country with vast resources and a long reach. To supplement his already generous allowance and for lack of other creative activity, Jon started making Salvadoran Pupusas, marketed under the brand name Giambasi J Pupusas. To his considerable surprise they sold extremely well in the ethnic stores of South-Central Scarborough. Their taste, texture and flavour of the secret ingredient (nut-meg) propelled them to the top of best sellers (sold out every day before 11:00 AM). Demand went through the roof and clients pressed Jon to expand and increase output even offering to invest in Giambasi J, but Jon, a proud artisan, insisted in limiting production to only as many as he could make perfectly as well as keeping the price at a decently affordable level. So there he lives and works with Betty and Beau (his two spoiled and mean-spirited Yorkshire Terriers) and mother ... Jon's mother not that of the Yorkies.